Saturday, July 17, 2010

Mosques and The City

That's it people! I'm fed up with the Islamic radicals! First they create Algebra, then they take away boxing from the White Man (I'm looking at you Mohamed Ali) and now they want to build a mosque two blocks from ground zero? How dare these group of liberal fundamentalists pray freely in New York City! How dare they build a mosque only 2 blocks from ground zero? Don't they know a dozen crazy fundamentalists from their same religion crashed planes into the twin towers on ground zero? It's why it's called ground zero! It's obvious that these Muslims want to build this mosque near ground zero so they can continue their radical Islamic agenda!
So by this logic, it means that anyone who is part of a religion absolutely believes everything the most radical people in the religion believe...It's just deductive reasoning man!

For Instance, I'm Jewish. Currently there is a tiny minority of Orthodox Jews in Israel who are upset about having Sefardic people (Jews of Iranian Peninsula descent, not eastern European) in their schools. Well, since I'm Jewish, it is obvious that I agree with this bigoted sentiment. I mean come on, we can't have some greasy, smelly, mustached Greeks smelling up our wonderful Russian, full-bearded schools?
The Catholic church continues to do very little about pedophilia in the church, so it is obvious all my Catholic friends condone pedophilia (It's why they are friends with me).

So, these fundamentalists want to build, not just a mosque but a COMMUNITY CENTER, 2 blocks from the world trade Center. This makes matters much worse! This community center will be 12 stories high and have evil, offensive things such as a swimming pool, fitness center and...GASP...a basketball court! Last thing we need is Muslims infiltrating the NBA! What will they do about their burkas? The NBA has a very strict policy on head gear! There will be classrooms in the center for Islamic AND secular learning, and then in this 12 story behemoth...there will be the mosque, LOOMING 12 stories high over all of New York's tiny, minuscule skyline. Terrifying, I know.

But I think there's a point to be made here. We need to be tolerant to people's feelings, 9/11 was a tragedy it affected many people, so maybe a mosque is not the right thing so close to the towers. At the end of the day, it WAS the people of the SAME religion.

So, I want to ask the YMCA of Manhattan, which is only ten blocks from the JCC of Manhattan to please move. As a Jew, you Catholics murdered millions of my people in the 17th century and expelled them from your countries. Hitler was raised Catholic and once said, "The National Government regards Catholicism and Protestantism as factors essential to the soul of the German people." Also, my grandfather has told me horror stories, of bigotry and Christians beating Jews in New York no more than 50 years ago, I'd appreciate if you didn't build any religious institutions on those blood-stained streets too. To the dozen or so protestant churches within a one mile radius of the JCC I google mapped...bbye...It hurts too much to see your churches close to a religious site of mine when I know one of your kind was Hitler. It doesn't stop here people! To the Lutheran Church 8 blocks away, Martin Luther was a rabed Anti-Semite whose writings led to Millions of Jews dying, please move, I'm very sensitive... and to the Eastern Orthadox Church a little over a mile away...seriously? Have you guys seen Fiddler on the Roof? Get the fuck away! White people...New York was one of the centers of the civil rights movements, Tens of thousands of African Americans were beaten and killed only 40-50 years ago in the streets of New York, so us white people shouldn't be allowed to build an Applebee's anywhere in New York! I could go on and on!

Now, I know what you're thinking, "David. Come on. None of this stuff happened recently and these synagogues are not being built right next to a place where a tragedy happened", but that's the thing...A tragedy did happen there...but it is not a religious tragedy. They didn't crash the planes into the towers because everyone in the towers were Christian or Jewish or Buddhist, they did it because we were American. Because we believe in freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion, and can see a woman's boobies in a wife beater by just stepping outside on a warm day. To not allow these people to build their mosque would only let the scumbags who blew up the towers win. I am an American dammit, and sure that means I'm fat, lazy, and terrible at math, but god dammit I'm going to let you preach whatever you want to preach, unless it's those fucking Unitarian Universalists...pick a side people!

Ok...enough of this opinionated/ serious shit...got to go back to the regular scheduled programming...
Lindsay Lohan's in prison! She is in prison because of alcohol and drug abuse, you might say she's there now because she was too often "Herbie: Fully Loaded", hope she doesn't run into a couple "Mean Girls" in prison or she just might be yelling "I know Who Killed me!"
Oh yes...much better.
Let them build the fucking mosque god dammit!