Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu? A gift from the Almighty?

So, the new craze nowadays is getting Swine Flu. You've heard about this right? People are concerned about a pandemic happening. 103 Mexicans have died and we're screaming pandemic? A hundred Mexicans? Please, a hundred Mexicans die every time there's a KKK meeting in Texas. I've killed a hundred Mexicans before when working at Taco Bell (at least I think they were mexican...?) There's also been about 20 more cases found in Canada, U.S. and the Netherlands. All the people infected with the disease were high school students who went to Cancun for spring break...OH! So, the people infected are Rich ass hole high school kids who can afford to go to Mexico for Spring Break...I say let them die! YAY! For Swine flu! I hope it continues to prey on some ass hole kids. Fuck those kids. That's what you get for being 16 and going to a foreign country, and fucking women much hotter than you will ever find here in America and me not going. I should feel bad for you? PLEASE.
This shit is not a pandemic! We have a cure!
According to the AP "This new strain can be treated with Tamiflu and Relenza". OH NO! A TREATABLE DISEASE! AHHHHHH! What's next? A Pandemic for the common cold? Almost everyone in the world gets a cold at least once a Winter! Run to the hills!
Am I the only one who sees how ridiculous this is?
First off...the disease is called Swine Flu...so I can't get it...it has pig in it and I'm Jewish...it just wouldn't be kosher (part of the overall Global Jewish Conspiracy. )
Secondly, I think this sickness is a gift from god himself. Look what it's killing:
Mexicans, annoying High Schoolers, and poor people who can't afford the medicine...if we could just throw in some evangelicals, this would be the perfect disease!
In all seriousness, I feel like every summer we go through some sort of Pandemic outrbreak. A few years ago it was West Nile Virus, Avian Bird Flu, and Mad Cow disease...remember these? All it did was kill some old and poor people..and we were over it, and those diseases we didn't really even have cures for! This disease...we have two cures for! The blue pill or the red pill!
Look...I'm all about a good disease. Throw me another AIDS, or cancer...I mean, Cancer sucks...that shit is a pandemic...but this Swine flu? Just don't be disgusting and wash your fucking hands...and if you don't feel well go to a doctor, where they have the antibiodic to fix you! If you don't feel well, and don't go to a doctor, and die of Swine flu...you probably deserved it...and in my opinion...then god his job.
In conclusion, Some people see the hand of god the planet's alignments, some see it in the animals of this world, and how they all seem to be in some sort of perfect pattern of motion...I see the hand of god in this Swine flu disease...The murdering of annoying and gross people...and I don't have to raise a finger, simply praise and adore my savior.
So, Fuck Swine Flu...it's bullshit, AND
God Bless Swine Flu!

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