Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Time to Aerial Hunt Sarah Palin

I'm sorry. I can't lay off the subject of Sarah Palin. I hate her fucking guts. I really do...so much that even though I've already dedicated half a blog to her, now that I truly have gotten to know her...I need to dedicate a whole blog...Sarah Palin looks like an obese version of the baby in the E trade commercials if an anvil fell on her head....and like in the cartoons she became an accordion. She looks like a midget with her pudgy clubby little face and fingers. Looking at her makes not only makes my penis shrivel up, but I find that even balls curl up and go inside. I literally get a full innie from this woman. She is more disgusting than Robert Downey Jr. in a Sudafed factory, scarier than Tara Reid in a bikini, and has less of a soul than Bill Maher. I HATE THIS WOMAN. She is my female Jimmy Carter (of course, one could argue Jimmy carter isn't a man either). Now, why do I hate this marshmellow of a woman so much? Why do I want to take my hands and wrap them around this woman's windpipe until her voice is so rhaspy she sounds like Tom Brokaw? Well, I don't know if you know this...but I am an animal rights activist. I'm a vegetarian, don't eat, wear animal...and here comes Sarah Palin...she is in favor of something called Aerial Hunting. Let me explain to you what that is for those of you who don't know. Aerial hunting is a "sport" where people get in helicopters, fly around open fields with a gun outside, and FROM THE AIR shoot wolves! They don't keep the wolves! They don't eat them! They don't do anything but FLY AWAY! Now, why do they do this? Why do they just randomly kill these wolves? This is the incredible part...they do it because the wolves kill the moose...and they don't want the wolves to kill all the moose because (and here's the incredible part, and it's all scarily true) THE HUNTERS WANT TO KILL THE MOOSE THEMSELVES DURING HUNTING SEASON!!! AHHHHHHHHH!
So, let me get this straight!? We are killing fucking animals out of fucking helicopters so we can fucking kill OTHER animals on land!? SERIOUSLY!? SERIOUSLY!? THIS IS NOT A SPORT, this is a fucking massacre! It's a fucking genocide. I'll tell you who thought the same way! A little known guy by the name of ADOLF HITLER! We have to kill all the Americans, English to get to the REAL problem...to hunt down the rest of the Jews, Gypsies and gays. It's like if I said I needed to kill every English person in the world to get to the scottish fucks in the UK. I truly hope Sarah Palin falls out of one of those helicopter and those wolves rip her apart like that 17 year old boy did to Bristol Palin's vagina...oh sorry...like that bastard baby will do to Bristol Palin's vagina. I HATE THIS WOMAN. I HATE HER pudgy little michelin man face, and I hate her fucking pig with lipstick smile. ANYONE, who treats animals like that should have to face those animals later. I want to take her and Mike vick and put them in a cage with a pitbull and a wolf and just watch those animals destroy them like how bush how has destroyed our economy...slowly, painfully, and with unfathomable stupidity. I'd love to aerial hunt Mccain, but I feel like, how fun of a hunt would he be? I'm sure he can't run fast... and I heard melanoma doesn't taste very good.
You know me...I've always been an Obama supporter, but now...I hope Biden destroys this woman at the VP debate. I hope he hits her so hard she feels the pain of every fucking moose she's ever shot in the head. I hope he smacks her so hard (metaphorically) that Bristol Palin's water breaks. I'm less rooting for Obama to win, and more I'm rooting for Sarah Palin to get a severe neck injury. Hopefully she'll pull a Tom Brady.

Anyway, I'm Jewish...and it's a new year...Just wanted to apologize to anyone if I've offended them throughout this blog...it was always totally my intention to do that...and I'm sorry if you are all too much of pussys to enjoy good comedy (unless your sarah palin or jimmy carter...I'll never forgive...never forget) A very happy Rosh Hashana! May you all be inscribed in the book of life and not the book of death...but if you are inscribed in the book of death...eh...I'll see you there soon.

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