Artists write Music, but a lot of times their music comes back and bites them in the ass. Sometimes, it bites them in the ass so much, that later, some ass hole defines them as ironic and makes a top 10 list out of them...Some songs are just too easily connected and you'll tell right away, others I might need to explain. For those who don't know what Irony is, here is an example, if Jimi Hendrix wrote a song called " I'm not going to choke on my own vomit because I'm an alcoholic and a Heroin Addict" then that would be ironic because he did choke on is own vomit! SO LET'S DO IT! THE TOP 10 MOST IRONIC SONGS EVER!
10. The Beatles - Can't buy me Love.
The Beatles start off the countdown and actually have two songs on this countdown...because...well...they are the Beatles. Why Can't buy Me Love?
Can't buy me love was written and performed by Paul Mccartney....Well, Paul...You still think you can't buy love? Why do I feel Like Heather Mills would disagree with you? Paul, Paul, Paul, this song should have warned you to get a pre-nup, but because you believed in Love not being able to be bought, you just got SOLD. You might not want that diamond ring, but Heather sure does Pauley!
9. Snoop Dogg- Drop It Like it's Hot.
Dr. Dre sold out about 10 years ago, but it took Snoop Dogg until just a few years ago to sell his soul. The ironic thing about this song is that it was snoop Dogg's biggest hit since "G Thang" which we all know is a classic. There's not much to say about this song except that... Though this song was HOT, it led to all of Snoop's Street Cred dropping like it's hot. I mean COME ON, he was performing with Pharrell from the Neptunes, and please...Pharrell sounds like a female frog that has swallowed a dozen marbles being blended while Fran Drescher's "the Nanny" is blasting on the television.
8. Notorious BIG - Ready To Die
Well, I think this one is fairly obvious...I mean, his self titled, debut album in 1994 was called Ready to Die, and the first single, was called ready to die....Well, I'm happy for him that he got his wish! With eloquent, imagery-laden lyrics like " Fuck the world, fuck my moms and my girl
My life is played out like a jheri curl, I'm ready to die" there was no doubt he was ready to die...and I just want to say to whoever killed Biggie, that from me, biggie and the rest of his family. Biggie got you guys! He was totally ready to die three years before you killed him! So there!
So, this song is obviously ironic, because Biggie talks about his death...and well...three years later...he gets killed...by the same gun he talks about in his song...a glock.
So, here's a suggestion anyone making a song. Don't write a song about your death, because, well...God has a sense of humor.
7. Amy Winehouse - Rehab
A fairly obvious one here. I mean, I talked about it before in my previous blog. Here she is, writing a song about not going to rehab, when she actually NEEDED to go to rehab. She could not go pick up her four grammy awards, or perform at the grammy's because she was IN rehab. She performed from a stage her song "rehab" proclaiming she wouldn't go, but the truth is the only reason she was able to perform is because her current rehab counselor let her perform! There is just TOO much irony in this! So, I'm just going to move on.
6. Beach Boys - Surfing U.S.A.
Dennis Wilson wrote this song about how he loved surfing...He proclaims in the song that the world would be better if everyone had an ocean...well, Dennis Wilson...guess what...you did have an ocean, and you waxed down your surfboard, and then, because of your addictions when you went surfing, you became rageful and threw your surfboard off your boat...going to collect the board in the ocean..you drowned. Yup, Dennis Wilson died Surfin The USA. Though everyone went out surfin, Dennis didn't return from the summer.
NOW THE REALLY IRONIC SONGS!
5. Just around The River Bend - Pocahontas
Pocahontas sang beautifully, "What is around the river bend, beyond the shore?" Well, Pocahontas, I don't think you want to know what's around the river bend, but I'm going to tell you anyway!. Just around the river bend is the Atlantic ocean, and just beyond that bend is the Spaniards kidnapping you, forcibly converting you to Christianity and Raping you...
It's history people look it up!
4. Beatles- When I'm 64
The second Beatles Song on the countdown. BECAUSE ON EVERY countdown the Beatles have two hits.
Now, Guess how Old Paul Mccartney was when Heather Mills decided to Divorce his ass and take 150 million dollars from him!? 64! He was 64! Guess what Paul, you won't be getting any valentines! You're going to have to have someone else leave a sweater by your fireside, because it ain't going to be some girl. The song is ironic also because only one of the four members actually made it 64 married...the infamous ringo Starr! John and George died well before their 64th birthday, and all Paul got for turning 64 was his drummer ringo's sloppy seconds. Paul, if all you need is love...then you need some help.
HONORABLE MENTION 1!
DMX - X goin' to give it to ya
DMX has been arrested many times for using and distributing many narcotics...one of his personal favorites is Ecstasy...so DMX EX really did give it to ya!
3. Jackson 5- ABC
Oh Yea Michael! You tell us how easy love can be! Cause it's worked out really well for you! Michael has been married three times, and is obviously a role model for love. For Michael, Love might not be as easy as 123, but Child Molestation sure is. I could just hear Michael telling a little Mcauley Culkin that "Now I'm going to teach you what Love's all about"...yup...this song used to be cute but is now just super creepy. I could see Michael saying to Mcauley, "don't worry. Teacher will show you how to get an A." Just shake it, shake it baby." And when I say shake it...I won't tell you what I think Michael is talking about shaking, but Shake it long enough and you'll get some of Michael's Jesus Juice. If only, for Michael's sake, Love was easy as "singing a medley"...
2. Queen - We Are The Champions
I am sad to put this song on the list...I am a true fan of Queen and Freddy Mercury, but it's the truth.
Freddy Mercury calls himself the champion of the world...he says "I consider it a challenge to the whole human race, that I'd never lose." Really Freddy Mercury? You'd never lose? What would you call dying of AIDS...I wouldn't call it winning. A champion wears a condom, that's what my mother always taught me. So, sorry Freddy, you might be one of the greatest singers of all time, but you challenged the human race...and lost...because the human race gave you AIDS. Here is another perfect example of not fucking with God. Don't challenge the world and the human race, because then you challenge God, and then God will give you AIDS.
HONORABLE MENTION 2
Britney Spears - Toxic.
I'm not even going to explain this one. I'm simply going to write down some lyrics...keep in mind, Kevin Federline and drug Addiction, and the destruction of her career. " A guy like you
Should wear a warning, It’s dangerous, I’m fallin’" She certainly did fall! And wow...maybe Kevin Federline should have worn a warning sign, "I'm going to get your pregnant, and then take your children away." Another verse, " Too high, Can’t come down, Losing my head" I'd say she did that! And one more from the song! " You're toxic I'm slipping under, With a taste of a poison paradise, I’m addicted to you, Don’t you know that you’re toxic." You can take this one as anything you want...I'm going to say that the lips she's tasting here are Paris Hilton's...and well, they are not her face lips.
AND NOW! WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! THE MOST IRONIC SONG EVER!
John Denver- Leaving On A jet Plane
This song is almost John's final ode to humanity. He says in this song that, " cause Im leavin on a jet plane, Dont know when Ill be back again, Oh babe, I hate to go." Well, John sang us plenty of songs, and packed his bags, and then went on a jet plane and didn't come back. John Denver was one of the most loved musicians ever, he was known for flying planes, so the idea that he wrote this song and then died in a plane crash isn't very funny...its eery, but it sure is ironic! MAKING IT THE MOST IRONIC SONG EVERRR!!!! GO JOHN DENVER! You might have crashed your airplane, and many people believe you crashed because you were drunk - flying, but on the bright side! YOU TRULY HAVE THE MOST IRONIC SONG EVER! John Denver Forever!
Those are my top 10's with my two honorable mentions. If I did my job right, I made you laugh, I offended an artist you loved, and I made you hate me a little bit.
I ask you to share this top 10 with your friends and then give me your most ironic songs...because...though my top 10 is totally correct and infallible I'd like to hear what you have to say. Do you think mine are right or am I just a douche bag!
There you have it! THE 10 MOST IRONIC SONGS EVER!